Random Ramblings

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Who would like to sample my supply 06-17-01 One of those weekends. Those great weekends. Great people, all weekend long, laughing, smiling, goofing, eating, singing, goodness, but not enough time alone in my apartment. Now it's Sunday night and I want to stay up into the wee hours to get some shannanigans done, but alas, my pillow is seducing me, even as we speak. And I had coffee this weekend. And it was quite tasty. Not just black. Milk, sugar, everything. Is it the good turtle soup (or merely the mock)? 06-12-01 Gulp. I'm at a loss for what to say. I'm rambling on request here, because June was passing me by. Summer has just finally arrived here in NYC*, and it's hard to stay inside and ramble when it's warm enough to frolic on the pier every night. And I'm tempted to do just that-- frolic every night and stay up past my bedtime and commit god knows what other sins. This time of year, or rather this season- makes me feel warm. It is in fact, the warmest I've felt in a while. Despite what seems, to me, to be a rather potent sun, a few friends of mine have been feeling down and lost. I say, if you're feeling unhappy, then make a list of things that make you feel happy, and for the loveofgod start doing them with higher frequency! Is that so hard to figure out? Of course, for some of my friends, they think that what-they-need-to-be-happy is something they've never had before, and you can't really make a list out of that. But I'd tend to think that if you can't write it down on paper, how good can it possibly be? It's certainly shadowy at best, and you can't sit around waiting for some shadow to fall on you. I know, I'm Maria Von Trappe, listing a few of my Favorite Things to feel better. But damn it, it works! Speaking of which, I think I'll go for a walk outside now, the summer sun's callin' my name. She's callin' me, I just can't stay inside all day, gotta get out and get some of those raaaaays everybody's smilin' sunshine day everybody seems so happy todaaaay it's a sunshine day. where the gin is cold but the piano's hot 05-28-01 I've got the shakes. I'm writing this ramble as a desparate attempt to divert my attention and calm myself down. I admit, I have an addiction to coffee. But I want to take a break... a nice clean cleansing clarifying period without any coffee at all. It certainly seems like the right thing to, doesn't it? I know it does. It's been... 2 weeks so far. And tonight I'm officially having difficulty. It's monday night with a sunday-night-feel because it's memorial day. That's the worst time for me. I'm sitting here grabbing onto the seat of my chair, needing a distraction. I want to call a coffee supplier directly on the phone if I can find someone willing to home deliver it, because there's none in the apartment. On a separate note, I saw the broadway musical Chicago this weekend with my girlfriends. It was spectacular. I ran out and bought the soundtrack as soon as I had a spare minute so I'd have the luxury of singing it over and over to my heart's content. "It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl" From this Moment On 05-23-01 Finally a moment of peace. I'm trying to get my schedule in order... I seem to be getting no sleep this week whatsoever. Bugger. Today my coworkers and I travelled to the world trade center, snuck in, and stole about 9 plants. That was my primary treat for the day. Nausea 05-17-01 I taste vomit in the back of my throat. I taste you. Get out of there, you shithead. Not just you, asshole, but all of you. All 6 of you that slapped me in the face, all together, all at once, as if to let me know. Well you did. So you can fuck off now. A bold, brazen girl. 05-15-01 (Webster's unabridged version, 4th definition) My little test is tomorrow. *Gulp*. I just need to remember a few basics like 2+2=4 and 8*8=64. But can I? Can I keep these facts straight despite stress? I don't seem to deal well with stress. I usually become physically ill around exam time. This will be the first exception, unless you count the migraines. God I feel REALLY wired. I think those sons-of-bitches at Starbucks gave me a Venti-sized iced coffee even though I ordered a decaf. Now I'll be up all night and fail my quiz. What can I do? Sue Starbucks? Oh My God. While studying at starbucks today, I was priveledged to listen in on the manager interviewing a potential worker. I didn't know people could BE that dumb, for the loveofgod. I don't think I can replicate it here, but you'll just have to let your imagination fill in the 14-year-old-boy whiny voice, the snorting laugh, and the body odor. Try it. Manager: "So why do you want to work for Starbucks?" Teenager: "Well, I need a job." M: "Why do you want to work *here* in particular?" T: "Well, the library never called me back." M: Pause. "Okay... well, then... why don't you tell me a little about yourself." T: "Uhm, well I really need a job, so I've been looking lately. That's pretty much it." Snorting laugh. M: "Okay. So do you like coffee?" T: "Sure." M: "What do you like about it?" T: "Uh... I don't know." M: "Well what characteristic of coffee do you like most?" T: "Uhm.. well I like Maxwellhouse." M: Mouth drops open. "Well do you like Starbucks coffee?" T: "Never had it." M: "Well you should try it before you leave." T: "Yeah." (the applicant will eventually leave without buying coffee) M: "Okay so... why don't you tell me about a time that you had a lot of tasks to do at work and how you got it all done?" T: "Uhm, I don't know what you mean." M: "I mean, like when you used to work at a library, a time you had many tasks to accomplish-- how did you get it all done?" T: "Oh, I never took very long to get things done." M: "Could you walk me through how you did that?" T: "Well, I used to... put books on shelves.. and stamp dates on cards, and put the cards in the books..." M: Mouth dropped open again "Okay then. Well. Starbucks is sometimes rated by outside people who judge our product quality, service, and atmosphere. And we are given 1 to 5 stars, like a hotel rating. Here at this Starbucks, we like to maintian a 5-star-hotel type rating--" T: "HAhahahaha." M: "...yes, well we like to maintain a 5-star rating. How could you contribute to this 5-star level?" T: "Well... I'll show up on time." At this point I had to pretend to be laughing at something I was studying. And whats worse is that at the end I discovered it wasn't a 14 year old boy, but a 50 year old woman. I nearly cried. Alright time for a good nights sleep or something like that. Anything Goes 05-12-01 I'm doing my final studying for a big fat actuarial exam which I'll be taking on Wednesday. I'm out of the office until then. Somebody keep their fingers crossed for me! This test is trying to kill me. So far it's given me regular piercing migraine headaches, kept me up at night, ruined perfectly good sunny days, et cetera, et cetera, and so on and so forth. Want to see it? Just click. Here's the syllabus I'm studying. God help me. I sleep with the cat, when no one will have me 05-06-01 Christ. You won't even believe what I did last night at 3am. No, not that. I was coming home from a late evening of... studying... and I was with my friend Bek. I was holding the key to my apartment in my hand to speed up the process of us getting to sleep. We looked down, and on the floor of the elevator we saw some garbage someone had left there. I happened to be holding some garbage in my hands at the time, and it seemed most fitting that I place it on the floor to provide the other garbage with company. It's the only NY thing to do. But Bek looked at me with disbelief and "I know you're not the sort of person to leave garbage lying around," so I picked up my trash AND the other trash, and when we exited the elevator, I walked over to the garbage shoot and flung the contents of my hands down into it and heard it go "klankity klank klank" all the way down 18 floors of trash disposal shoot. Then I realized that the contents of my hands included not only crap but my apartment key. "Oh thank GOD I had that spare key made last week! I gave it to Sue who lives in the next building. Whew," and despite it being 3am, I knew Sue was awake as she had just gotten home with Bek & I. "Sue, could I borrow that key?" but then "Uh Oh, Shan, I think I left it at the office!" And so it goes. In the end I had to wake the super who sleepily opened my door for a mere $25 tip. And don't bother leaving the light on 04-23-01 Well, in the past week three peeps have taken notice that I haven't rambled since Y2K. No wonder no one reads me anymore. That makes it easier to type, I suppose, knowing it's never read. Except by those Three. So lately I've been drinking far too much coffee. :-) Or at least trying to. Although Joe, my illustrious personal trainer has been begging me to give up coffee. Screw you, Joe, I saw you drinking a latte at Starbucks. What else? Hmm. Hard to ramble about being a new yorker in new york, and yet, I'll try. Two weeks ago i was running down a stairway into the subway (N/R) and some large, old woman with a huge suitcase was slowly lumbering herself and her baggage down this long flight. I was so annoyed that she was in my way, all I could think was "if i miss a train because of you, I'm going to push you down the stairs," ...but somehow, thank god, i realized what the hell was going on. I came to a halt, smacked myself, and walked back up the stairway to help her. But still-- my first instincts scare me. Similarly, a small animosity has now been built between myself an another worker in my building. Apparently we both head to the Smith Barney cafeteria at the same time each morning to get coffee & fruit. This woman is small, in many ways. Particularly she is petite, and I'm guessing her motor skills are lacking. Because despite our being in downtown manhattan during breakfast rush-hour, in the same place we are every single other morning, she inevitability will come to a stop in the busiest spot she can find, and look around as if lost. When, at these moments, she is in my path, I have no choice but to treat her as an inanimate obstical on my course, and I dart around her at the speed of light, leaving her poor tiny little head all a-spin. My co-worker, Chris, pointed out that after I leave her spinning, she shoots looks-that-could-kill in my direction, and badmouths me to her male companion until they leave the cafeteria. How many times before that guy beats me up? A man in my bed like Cracker Crumbs 12-30-00 Oh my god I'm snowed in and it fucking sucks. I can't even rent a movie or order a pizza because the local stores are closed due to the shitty weather. I'm feeling offensive as a result, I guess. As a result of something anyway. There is a veritable TON of snow outside. I would love to go out and have a huge snowball fight and create snow angels and a snowman. When was the last time I did these things?... I had a little snowball fight about a week ago with Sue Smith and Tom while walking in the bitter cold from the ferry to our apartment building. I made snow angels when I was 18 on the campus football field with a fellow student, I think his name was Tom. I don't have any particular memory of building a snowman, ever. I'm going to put the cracker crumbs poem onto my poetry page. Check it out. Holiday 12-28-00 We're smack in the middle of the holiday season here. Quite heavenly. I've been drained of all liquid assets in the process, but that's what this season is for. I'm going to splurge on myself in a few weeks by doing a wee bit of skiing in killington, vermont. I'll have to walk the streets a few extra times to come up with the cash. C'est la vie. I'm all giddy with anticipation, all that snow and the majestic views from the tops of mountains... it really clears the brain of any bits of yarn that might be stuck in there. Ahem 12-4-00 According to that little Quizlet, ya'll would like me to ramble more. As usual, I have nothing to say. But I'll try. I'm still in NYC, thank god. Not sure when I'll leave next. I'm kind of enjoying my current spot. For all the goddamned complaining I do, I still love being here. HERE. I'm living in... a high-rise, on the 18th floor. I'm basically existing in a bedroom, which is thankfully large (for NYC I mean). When I step outside this little space, I find a teeny bathroom, a coffee table that we call a "living room", a microscopic kitchen (it fits one chair, no table), and the two roommates that I share this space with. Somehow it works. My roomates are cool and damn easy to live with. Fuck knows if they'd say the same of me. Do you know what I really want for christmas? Neither do I. Of course if I could be completely unrealistic I'd say... I'd wish for my chest pains to cease. But that is a story for another day. That sounds so self pitiful, and I swear to god i don't mean to be. Not that i believe in a god. You know what i mean. I don't pity myself-- I leave it to others to pity me. Any pain actually reminds me I'm alive & breathing so it's "good" in that sense... but on the other hand it still fucking hurts. Pardon my language. My God its been YEARS 11-28-00 Okay so it's been a while. But I'm going into severe Under Construction Mode to get this little page in working order. Then: Let The Rambling Begin. Back to Ramblings Index